1. “I work well with others. I also work well on others.”

2. “This job will serve me well until ‘The Quickening’ begins.”

3. “I believe in a diverse workplace. Some of my best friends are darkies.”

4. “I’m not big on pants.”

5. “Things didn’t work out so well at my last job. Apparently they hate the 2nd Amendment.”

6. “My sponsor says this is a great place to work.”

7. “I’m looking for a job that will really challenge me. At my last job, all those that challenged me were swiftly felled by the cold steel of my warhammer.”

8. “I feel like my strengths are time management and appearing productive.”

9. “My relationship with God is an important part of my life. He’s sitting beside me.”

10. “What happened to your face?”

yes…I’m sick but not too tired. I hate HR